5.) Guy LoveI will say that this one is not on the list because it is completely confusing, but for the fact that it still makes me giggle each time I see it after being here for almost two years. The sight of two grown men in business suits walking hand in hand is so unnatural to me. Prolonged amounts of touching between two straight men is as natural in Korea as a chest bump is in America. So when you see two company men seemingly skipping down the street with interlocking fingers it means they love each other, but they don't love-love each other. Of course if you tried this America your friend would probably smash a beer can on your forehead.
|"Hey ladies, wanna hang out with two dudes who are totally secure with themselves?"|
So next time you see two grown Korean men walking in each other's embrace, just remember it's Guy Love.
What baffles me is why all the old Korean woman have subscribed to this way of living out their golden years. I understand Korea is a country of communal thinking, but this is just beyond that. I can not imagine anywhere else you could gather more than three grandmothers together and they all have matching non-matching outfits and the same haircut. It's like Korea is cloning old women to pick up the country's trash and landscape the government buildings. I swear after a certain age some one must hand a Korean woman a pamphlet with certain instructions on how one should dress. It must also include tips on how to body check bystanders, cut in line, and give foreigners the stink eye.
|The pamphlet comes with pictures like this.|
|This pretty much illustrates my point. (http://www.roketship.com/)|
3.) The Never Ending Battle With Climate Control
This one probably infuriates native english teachers the most, especially in winter. It is generally believed that South Korea is a modern society. One of the things that defines a modern society is possessing buildings and homes with the ability to adjust the inside temperature relative to the outside temperature. Koreans even went so far as to install an ingenious floor heating system in every up to date establishment. However, they have difficulty in properly using these advantages that their country has afforded them. Every native english teacher has the same story. The teacher has their classroom to a respectable temperature in the dead of winter. The students shuffle in to do some learning and within minutes they are complaining that the room is too hot. The teacher politely explains to them that if they were to remove their winter jackets, sweater, hats, etc., then they would be perfectly comfortable because they're indoors after all. The students refuse and begin to open the windows instead. At this point the teacher is all like:
|"What? Why? Take off your coat!"|
|"Don't make me say it again."|
What's even worse is that Korea considers itself one of the most environmentally responsible countries in the world. However, in the winter the windows are opened when they're too hot inside with their coats on. I can't think of anything more wasteful than letting all that energy flow outside. My whole youth my parents would yell at me not to heat/cool the whole neighborhood! This phrase does not exist in Korea.
2.) It's Good For "Stamina"I should really title this one Anything For A Boner, because that's pretty much I'm going to talk about. I thought it might be too crass. Anyway in America, when a man loves a woman, he wants to share his love in certain ways. When that man gets older he may have more difficulty expressing his love in that way. If it comes to it, a doctor may prescribe that man such innovative products as Viagra or Cialis. Products designed to help the man and have been proven to work. Proof is an important element to this one.
|Wow! It really works!|
Question: Live octopus? Answer: Good for stamina.
Question: Dog meat? (Which I have tried). Answer: Good for stamina.
Question: Rhino horn? Answer: Good for stamina.
Question: Dead baby pills? Answer: Good for sta.....wait what?!
Yep check out what was discovered a couple months ago. This is real:
ooGood job! I have no idea what the logic is behind this. It's also probably the same logic that women don't drink coffee when they're pregnant because it will turn the baby brown. Not because of the caffeine or anything. So that's what we're working with in Korea. Just take some Viagra. Really.
1.) Fan Death
This was the easiest and most obvious choice for number one. Everyone that has lived in Korea has heard of Fan Death and of course it is outrageous. It's a widely held belief that a simple house fan can straight murder a person. No joke. Of course America has it's share of urban myths but no one actually believes them. This is an urban myth that Koreans truly believe. Supposedly in a closed room the fan can suck out the oxygen and the victim can die of asphyxiation. It looks something like this:
|Can't argue with science.|