Getting Drunk: A Korean Pastime

Ah, spring time in South Korea.

Last Sunday was a beautiful spring Sunday in Gwangju, South Korea.  We woke up and started the routine of curing our hangovers.  For me this usually involves drinking a liter of water, eating some fruit, eating some eggs, drinking some Gatorade, and then taking a long steam bath.  I'm mostly ready to go after this.  Then we met a friend for coffee and then met others for pizza in a park.  As the sun was setting, Caroline and I headed back to my apartment to relax and plan for the next day of school.  I had all the windows open because that's what one generally does on a nice spring day.  It was around 7pm, I was watching a show and Caroline was getting her lesson planning done, when all of a sudden right outside the living room window we hear, "BLAAAAAAAAH, SPLASH, cough-cough!"

Caroline: "WTF?"
Me: "Oh god, that's like right outside..."
Right Outside: "AAAAHH GAAA, cough, SPLASH, BLAAAAAAH, SPLASH, cough-cough."
Caroline: "Ugh!  That's vomitting!"
Me: "Ah dammit, I think so..."
Right Outside: "cough-cough-cough, B-BLAAAAAAH, SPLASH, cough-cough."
Caroline: "Aaaah!  Come on!"
Me: "When does it end?!"
Right Outside: "BLAAAAAH, SPLASH!"

This recent disruption of a pleasant spring evening with the close up sounds of vomit hitting the pavement got me thinking that there is a lot of pukin' going on in this country.  Then I thought about how there is a lot of drinkin' going on in this country.  Then I thought about how I do a lot of drinkin' in this country.  Then I thought I better write a blog post about it.

I've heard South Korea called the Ireland of Asia several times and for several reasons.  Geographically they are similar in size, surrounded by water, and split north and south.  Historically they have been picked on by powerful neighbors, aka England and Japan.  They also share a fondness for the drink.  When I lived in China, good bars to just sit and drink were few and far between.  Most Chinese drink in restaurants, karaoke buildings, or loud dance clubs.  However, South Korea has a plethora of pub, lounge, and dive bars to drink at.  There are probably over a hundred of these kind of bars with in a mile radius of my apartment.  (I live in a central location so that probably helps too.)  So first there are endless sources of alcohol from bars to stores and none of them really have a closing time.

Second, it's cheap.  The best bang for you buck is soju.  For just over $1.00 you can get a little bottle of this stuff.  It sort of tastes like a weak vodka and it's about 20% alcohol.  Koreans drink it on a fairly regular basis.  When out to dinner, they pour it for each other into small glasses.  If a drink is poured for you then you must drink it and then return the favor by pouring soju back in to your drinking buddy's glass.  This can happen as much as a couple dozen times in one night.  If you refuse the offer then you can lose a lot of respect and you can expect confused/angry glares in your future.  If you are a recovering alcoholic then I wouldn't recommend teaching in Korea.  If you're a budding alcoholic then teaching in Korea is a perfect fit.  Oh I joke, but seriously.

I suddenly crave soju.

Then there's the beer.  If you want to drink with out paying for imports then the selection is terrible.  Korea's so called national beers go from horrible to less horrible.  The big three are Cass, Hite, and OB Blue.  Of course this doesn't stop anyone from buying it.  You can get a 1.6 liter bottle for less than $5.00.  OB Blue is often my choice because I have rated it least horrible.  This country has a serious high quality beer market that is completely untapped (pun intended).  There's no telling what damage a Korean wheat beer or pale ale could do here.  Millions to be made!  I need investors!

The Usual Suspects

The Power of Beer!

  























Not only is alcohol cheap and readily available, but it is an intricate part of social interactions.  The before mentioned "pour for pour" technique is practiced mostly at business or co-worker meetings that take place right after work.  These meetings usually end with everyone getting a heavy buzz and going to a karaoke bar.  I've been lucky and have only been made to sing one Beatles song.  Other native English teachers have not been so lucky.  Furthermore, I can't tell you how many times I've walked down the street and seen middle aged men in suits stumbling around and hanging all over each other.  I also see 1-5 puddles of puke on my way to school everyday.  About ever other week I encounter a public urinal with vomit sitting in the base.  There should be a market for cute little vomit bags.  Hello Kitty Puke Pouch?  Girl's Generation Gag Bag?  I swear sometimes being in Korea is like living in a college town all over again.  Here are some pictures I didn't take but they are from Korea:

 

 Now if South Korea were to be offended by people posting pictures on the internet of their citizens passed out in public then they would pass some laws.  Apparently they don't really care because public intoxication and public drinking are no problem here.  Honestly, I enjoy the fact that South Korea loves drinking and has very relaxed laws about it.  Now don't get the wrong idea, South Korea is not full of alcoholics.  They work more hours than any other developed country in the world.  They are constantly under pressure to be the best in their studies or at work.  They have to obey anyone who is older than them.  So when they get the opportunity to unwind then they should be able to go all out and I don't blame them.

As you can imagine the life of a native English teacher in South Korea must also involve lots of drinking.  It's true.  I made a graph of how much I have drank since college began.  I divided it up by one year segments.  My freshman and sophomore year were about normal for an underage student that can only get their kicks from kegger parties.  Then the amount sky rocketed my junior year.  This included a combination of turning 21 years old, living in a house for the first time with my best friends, and a new shiny beer pong table.  Shenanigans!  Then the amount steadily decreases as I turn senior and super senior.  Then it plummets when I graduate, move to the suburbs of Kansas City, work forty hours a week, and become boring for a year.  The amount increases a little when I move to China for a year and then shoots back up when I move to South Korea.  So now it's like I'm back in my super senior days.

Teaching English in South Korea creates a little subculture that you become a part of.  The job is not very demanding and it pays well.  There are also hundreds like you in the same city.  However, when you are working you are surrounded by people that are nothing like you.  So when working is finished then you scramble to find the other westerners with the low demand/high paying jobs and it's time to hang out.  This is time that usually involves speaking a lot of English and drinking a form of alcohol.  You really enjoy this time outside work and so you do things like the Hash House Harriers (running and drinking), dinner parties (eating and drinking), baseball games (baseball and drinking), concerts (music and drinking), and then just drinking.  This has become pretty standard for most of us.  Hey we're just indulging in some Korean culture, so party on! Or as the Koreans say, "Gambae!"

Korean Art Work

     

DMZ: Hey North Korea

I'm back from a little blogging break.  So after sharing stories and pictures from winter vacation, it's back to talking about where I live: South Korea.  I've lived here for about seven months now and life has pretty much settled in to a sense of normality.  The public transportation system is no longer confusing, I'm well acquainted with the food (more kimchi please), this teaching thing is getting easier, and I've located every bar, store, or restaurant that I need to.  Sometimes I need to remind myself where I am.  "Oh yeah, I live in a little peninsular Asian country on the other side of the planet."  I don't even call it South Korea anymore, but just Korea.  However, this little peninsula is still split in to two very different halves.  There is still tension between the two and it has become one of those normalities in Korea just like when I see two older business gentlemen holding hands.  Last month I was reminded of this reality of being on the brink of war when we visited the DMZ.

The DMZ, demilitarized zone, runs along the 38th parallel from coast to coast.  It's 2.5 miles wide and nobody is allowed inside.  The walls and landmines keep the people out so the natural life in the DMZ has flourished.  Ironically, some endangered species have found protection in between the walls of the North and South.  However, there is one place where people are allowed to enter.  It's called the Joint Security Area or JSA.  This area functions as a place where officials from the North and South can have talks.  It lies in the middle of DMZ and consists of a bunch of military buildings, conference rooms, and soldiers staring face to face with the enemy.  When there are no talks going on (which is most of the time) it's a place where tourists can get as close as they can to North Korea without a bullet entering their body.  Last month we were one of those tourists that got a close up look at North Korea.

The JSA is controlled by the military and can be somewhat dangerous, so the only way to get there is by joining a tour with the USO.  The DMZ was created at the end of the Korean War in 1953.  Technically the war never really ended because the North and South are still enemies and kill each other now and then.  The DMZ acts as a buffer between the two countries and the United States has been hanging around since the first "Do Not Cross" sign was posted.  So why are there 30,000 troops stationed in South Korea in 2011?  First, South Korea has been a long time ally of the United States ever since we saved their half of the peninsula from communism, Russia, and batshit crazy dictators.  Since then, we have been pen pals and South Korea has turned in to a developed and powerful nation.  So the United States doesn't want our wealthy friend to be attacked from the North.  Second, we also don't want our friend to get drunk at a bar and start a fight with a weaker but annoying asshole.  So we hold our friend back and say "Not worth it man, let's just get out of here."  We say this because we know the asshole has a big college football player friend at home who might seek revenge on you and your buddy.  Then before you know it there is an all out gang war and a lot of innocent people in the neighborhood are getting hurt.  Not cool.  Of course I'm talking about China's response if North Korea were to be attacked from the South.  No one is really sure what China would do but no one really wants to find out.

We arrive outside the DMZ and we are introduced to our tour guide who is an US army officer.  He basically tells us to do what he says or you will be quickly dismissed.  We get on a bus and drive past barb wire, cement blocks, tank walls, and land mines to get in to the DMZ.  No pictures are allowed on this portion of the tour.  We arrive at the JSA a few minutes later.  We are informed that when we get off the bus we must stay in single file line and never gesture towards anything.  There is no pointing and especially no waving.  If you see a North Korean soldier near the border then don't look him in the eyes.  Stay in front of this South Korean soldier and never pass this South Korean soldier.  No wearing shorts, flip-flops, baggy clothing, etc.  Only take pictures when the tour guide says it's OK and never leave the group because there is not telling what those North Koreans will do.  Everything is orchestrated military style and there is a looming sense that someone is watching your every move through the scope of a sniper rifle.

Please don't shoot.

 We stand there for a few minutes just facing the North Korea side of the JSA.  There is a row of conference buildings along the border and a large communist style building on the North Korean side.  There are several South Korean guards at their post.  Some of the guards stand half behind a conference building and half exposed to the border.  This is so that if North Koreans start shooting at them then the guards can quickly step behind the building.  They can also signal their commanders from behind the building without the North Koreans seeing the signal.  The guards wear helmets and sunglasses to show as little emotion towards the North Koreans as possible.  Sometimes the South and North Korean guards will stand face to face at the border.  This day the North Korean guards would not be making an appearance.  However, there was one soldier near the big North Korean building who had his binoculars and he was checking us out.

The line that separates.

See if you can spot the North Korean.

We enter the conference room that straddles North and South Korea.  It's just a long room with some chairs and tables.  However, because the building sits on the border, when we stand in the north side of the building then we are technically standing in North Korea.  I'm probably not going to fill in North Korea on my "Countries I Have Visited" map though.  It just doesn't feel right.  Anyway, there are two South Korean soldiers in the room, one in the middle of the room and one blocking the door that goes on to North Korean soil.  They are completely still without any facial expression what so ever.  Everyone in the group becomes fascinated with the two soldiers standing in the room.  Our tour guide says that they are there for our protection and constantly stand in what is called the "tae kwan do ready" position.  We are allowed to take pictures next to the guards but NEVER touch one of them.  To quote our tour guide, "They will strike you and it will hurt!"  Don't even think about passing the guard who is blocking the door.  These guards are masters of hand to hand combat and will have you on the floor faster than three bottles of soju.

Do not pass this man.

Don't get too close Caroline.

We learned a lot about the history of the DMZ during the tour but perhaps the most interesting, yet frightening, story is the axe murder incident.  In 1976, the American soldiers decided that a tree was just too big and obscuring the view from one watch tower to the next watch tower.  If something were to happen at one of the watch towers, then the other one wouldn't know about it until someone called for help.  The tree had to be trimmed.  A team of American and South Korean soldiers went to the large poplar tree and began using axes to trim it.  A group of North Korean soldiers gathered around the border and watched for a while until the commanding officer yelled at the South to stop cutting the tree.  Apparently the tree was special to the North Koreans.  The South ignored him, so the North sent over a truck with twenty soldiers armed with crowbars and clubs.  The North Korean officer yelled to stop again but the South kept on trimming.  Then the Northern officer yelled, "Kill them!"  Two American soldiers were beaten and then murdered with the axes that they had dropped.  It was an unfair fight with the North Koreans well out numbering the soldiers of the South. The fight was eventually broken up and three days later Operation Paul Bunyan took place.  With the support of hundreds of troops, artillery, jet fighters, bombers, helicopters, and an offshore aircraft carrier, the South cut down the tree.  If the North Koreans would have made a move, it would have been the beginning of World War III.  It resulted in the most expensive tree trimming in history.

The most hilarious thing we saw was the flag competition.  Near the JSA, there is a peace town in the South and one in the North.  The one in the South is a little community of a couple hundred farmers that get to live tax free.  They actually save lots of money.  However, they're under constant surveillance and have to be indoors by 10pm.  The one in the North is a propaganda village because it has several big buildings that are empty shells and no people live there.  Yet the North claims it's paradise on Earth.  Each of the peace villages boasts the flag of their respective country and they've been growing in size over several years.  When one side would build a bigger and taller flag, then the other side would respond by "one upping" them.  North Korea then decided to really give it to the South by building the world's tallest flag pole and attach the world's largest flag.  The flag pole is 160 meters tall, and the flag is 30 meters long and said to weigh 600 pounds.  The South finally said that's enough and that's how North Korea won the flag war.

The DMZ is an interesting and exciting place to visit.  Where else are you allowed to be on the border of two countries that are technically still at war?  It's an adventure with a hint of danger in the mix.  I would recommend it to anybody.  Visit this website to find a USO tour: USO Tours 

The Good Guys

Welcome to Singapore. Now No Spitting!

Merlion

With the three weeks coming to an end, our last destination was Singapore.  This tiny country is located on an island on the southern tip of the Malaysian peninsula.  It's just a little dot on the map but it's quite an accomplished place.  It's basically a modern mega city.  I've never seen any city like it in Asia.  First thing is that it's super clean.  Seriously, it's cleaner than Nicolas Cage's house in "Matchstick Men."  I think I counted three napkins on the ground, that was it for litter.  I believe the reason for this is because the people there are really disciplined.  One thing you hear about are all the laws in Singapore that can result in inflated fines.  Some of these laws are outrageous but I guess it works.  Here are some examples:

$500-$1000 Fine
Eating or drinking anything on the subway
Littering
Possession of chewing gum
Failure to flush the toilet after using a public facility
Using racial slurs
Spitting in public
Feeding birds
Urinating in an elevator
Jaywalking
Possession of pornography
Using unsecured wireless internet
Smoking in public

Caning (Where your buttocks is spanked with a cane.)
Vandalism
Graffiti
Possession of fire crackers
Overstaying your visa length

Death by Hanging
Possession or trafficking of any illegal drugs

Singapore is not messing around.  They caned over 6,000 people in one year in 2007.  That's a lot of spanking going on, and I'm talking about the spanking that makes you bleed.  Anyway, as a tourist, as long as you think about what you're doing and use the trash cans then it should be no problem.  I may have cursed a few times in public but no action was taken. 

Crazy Boat Building

Another interesting thing I noticed was that Singapore's official language is English.  Having lived in Asia for a year and a half I just came accustomed to not understanding what anyone was talking about when I was in a restaurant or using public transportation.  It was somewhat weird to hear a Chinese child talk about his favorite animals to his Chinese mother while walking down the street.  Or have a taxi driver tell me jokes about the American president and the British Royal Family.  I think it must be because Singapore is so culturally diverse that they need a language to unify everyone.  Also, Singapore relies so heavily on international business that it is smart to choose English as the official language if one must be chosen.

Lastly, Singapore is expensive.  The majority of the hotels are four star and I felt like an impostor walking down some of the streets.  "How dare he wear flip-flops and cheap sunglasses near us!  Send him to four star prison!"  The cheapest can of beer I could find was around four dollars out of a seven eleven.  Eating anywhere near a shopping mall, forget about it.  We stuck to the outdoor food courts that Anthony Bourdain recommended.  It's where the most delicious and cheapest food is made in Singapore.  Singapore can be done by budget travelers, but just for a few days and with a little budget traveler know-how.

We stayed in Singapore for the three days of the Chinese Lunar New Year.  There was a big festival going on at the marina with carnival rides and fireworks.  Chinatown was at full capacity with people, lanterns, and the color red.  We spent the first day roaming these parts and waiting for the fireworks.  The next day Caroline and I went to Sentosa Island.  It's an island of strictly entertainment with a mandate for fun.  It has several amusement parks, theaters, gardens, beaches, live shows, and much more.  We hit up Universal Studios and had an awesome day.  The Jurassic Park ride is way cooler in Singapore and I didn't think that was possible.  The last day there I managed to come down with a case of the stomach explosion of discomfort, but we still made it to Singapore's world famous zoo.  It was actually really cool.  Many of the animals are free roaming including several of the monkeys and the orangutans.  There were also animals I had never heard of before, like mouse deer.  There are mouse deer?  Sure.

Lunar New Year in Chinatown

Universal Studios Singapore

Proboscis Monkey at the zoo

 

Bribing the Police in Bali

The next episode of the winter vacation trip took place in Bali.  We headed to the center of the island to the city of Ubud.  We stayed in a gorgeous hotel and there were cheap, professional massages all up and down the road.  I think I indulged in a massage everyday.  How could I not when it's only five to ten dollars?  Where else can you do that?  There is tons to do in Ubud.  There are beautiful rice terraces to explore, ancient temples to visit, delicious Balinese food to eat, and monkeys to play with.  I made a video from our visit to the Monkey Forest, just scroll down to the bottom of the post to see some fantastic monkey footage.  Our first day there we played with the monkeys, visited a really old temple, and went to see the white herons.  Sometime in the mid 1960's thousands of herons began flocking to a one kilometer stretch of road next to some rice paddies outside of Ubud.  Since then, they show up everyday around 6pm and no one knows why they started doing this or why they continue.  It's best to view the phenomena from afar to avoid being shat upon.  Also, avoid standing under any trees for more than a heartbeat.

We're in Bali!

Look in the trees, so many herons!

The next day was our designated rent a scooter day and ride around the island.  The plan was to get the scooters in the morning, head north to the rim of a very large volcano, and hit up some temples along the way.  We traveled north out of the cities and pretty soon we were in rural Bali on a steady incline to the volcano.  After about forty-five minutes we saw a police truck on the side of the road and two officers standing on the center stripe waving for us to pull over.  I was thinking "drug search" in my head because the same thing had happened a year ago in Thailand.  However, the first thing the officer said was, "Driver's license."  Myself, Zach, and Fan were each driving a scooter with our respective special lady friends riding on the back.  So we handed the officer a Kansas, Kentucky, and Chinese driver's license.  The officer soon found this unacceptable and said, "International Driver's License."  I thought, "What is he talking about?"  In China, Korea, and Thailand you don't need an IDL to drive a scooter so I hadn't thought about needing one in Indonesia.  Then the dialogue went a little something like this:

Us:  "Uh?  What?  International Driver's License?  Since when do you need that?  You don't need that?  Right?"
Police Officer:  "You sure do.  Look."  Points to a couple sentences on our rental agreement forms that basically says you must have an IDL to drive a scooter.  (Oops.)
Us:  "Mmmm yeah, about that.... we didn't realize we needed that.  Haha... yeah, we don't exactly have an IDL.  Sorry dude."
Police Officer:  "Where are you heading?"
Us: "The volcano, sir."
Police Officer:  "Almost made it, didn't you?  How are long are you staying in Bali?"
Us: "Three more days, sir."
Police Officer: "Well, you have two options.  One is to go to the courts in Bali and fight this as an injustice."
Us:  "That certainly sounds unappealing.  What's option two?"
Police Officer: "You will have to pay a fine of one million Rupiah (a little over a hundred dollars) at the bank and it will take four days to process."
Us:  "This also sounds unappealing."
Inside My Head:  "How convenient that we will leave in three days and the fine will take four days to process.  I think I see where this is going."
Us: "So we don't want to do either of those things you just said.  Like we said, we leave in three days."
Police Officer: "How can I help you?"
Us: "We don't know, how CAN you help us?"
Police Officer: "Tell ME how I can help you."
Us: "YOU tell us how you can help us."
Police Officer: "You should tell me how I can HELP you."
Us: "We can't pay a fee in four days, so how about we pay BEFORE."
Police Officer: "When do you WANT to pay?"
Us: "How about now?  Now seems like a good time."
Police Officer: "Ok, how much money do have?"
Us: "Not as much as that number you said earlier.  We're just poor backpackers on our way to see your lovely volcano and your beautiful temples."
Police Officer:  "Mmmm hmmm, so how much do you think you should pay?"
***Awkward Silence***
Me: "200,000 ($20)?"
Police Officer: "Not enough, how about 100,000 for each scooter.  So 300,000 ($30)."
Us: "Ok, glad we could take care of this now."
Police Officer: "Pleasure doing business with you."  *Slips the money in to his pocket*

So that was my first experience in bribing someone in the business of law enforcement.  I though it went pretty smoothly.  We went from almost having to pay over $300 to paying just over $30.  However, it was apparent that this guy was out to get a bribe in the first place.  Later we learned that our experience was rather usual and the amount we paid was fairly typical.  Just another day in Southeast Asia.  Besides that nothing else too exciting happened.  We had lunch on the rim on the volcano, saw some more temples, ate some pig skin, and made it down to Kuta Beach a few days later.  Kuta Beach is the most popular place to visit in Bali, but if you're not a surfer it is highly over rated.  It's too rough to swim, it's crowded, it's dirty, and there are hawkers trying to sell you something every three paces.  So we just drank.  Anyway, enjoy some pictures and the next stop is Singapore.

There's the volcano!

We had to wear traditional dress when we visited the temples.

A water temple.

              Video I put together from Monkey Forest in Ubud, Bali.