Sleeping in a Closet: Traveling Through the Philippines Part 1

The second part of our Winter Vacation 2012 took us to the Philippines.  I found that in this country you have to take the good with the bad.  I have what is referred to as a love hate relationship with the Philippines.  We had some fantastic and memorable experiences, but it was some of the most stressful traveling I have ever done.  It is the first country that has tested my limits as a backpacker, and I have been to many countries in Asia by this point.  I'm going to do that thing where I say something good about it before the insult so I can soften the blow.  Like when a girl says, "I love Tammy, she's like the greatest girl in the world, one in a million...but girl needs to take a shower because she smells like reheated Chinese take-out."  So if it sounds like I'm doing a lot of bitching about the Philippines it's because I am.

We encountered stunning scenery, beautiful ocean waters, ate some good meals, and met some very nice people.  However, the best way to describe the Philippines is a trailer park situated in a beautiful setting.  Or the Mexico of Asia but without the delicious cuisine and charming culture.  It's sometimes trashy, sometimes depressing, sometimes scary, and sometimes wonderful.  The whole time I was there I was a walking ATM.  Something to extract as much cash out of as possible.  I wasn't viewed as some one who wanted to soak up the country, take in the sights, do some relaxing, and gain some experiences.  I was viewed as some one who went to the Philippines, threw around all the cash I could, and get out.

Hey Philippines, where's the beach?

We didn't even bother with Manila after hearing all the horror stories about it.  We heard stories of horrible poverty, suffocating pollution, constant scams, dangerous alleys, and the overall opinion that the city is a dumpster fire.  The whole country is poor though.  There are full grown men hanging out everywhere in the streets.  Doing nothing but standing around and looking.  Some one I met compared it to India.  I've been to very poor countries before (Cambodia, parts of China) but I have never seen so many men wallowing on the side of the road.  I don't know what I'm implying, but either the country needs to hire some motivational speakers or everyone is receiving disability checks.

I only saw Manila from the inside of an airport or through a plane window.

The first place we flew in to was the overwhelmingly gorgeous island of Palawan.  When you arrive at a new location in the Philippines, whether by bus or plane, expect to encounter who I like to call "the piranhas".  When we walked out of the airport there were ten guys in our faces saying, "Get in my tricycle.  Give me your bag.  You have reservation?  Give me the money."  When we settled on one driver we next found out that accommodation is a big problem in the Philippines during the travel season.  Elsewhere in Southeast Asia I just find a place to sleep when I get there.  We learned quickly that you don't do this in the Philippines.  I blame the Chinese.  The tourism board for the Philippines must have a huge marketing campaign in China and it's working.  It's working very well.  The problem is there are a lot of people in China and they travel in huge groups of over twenty people.  That's a lot of hotel rooms.  So we spent our first night in Palawan in a utility closet with bunk beds too short for my 5'8" frame and a pack of fighting wild dogs outside our window all night.  Yay, welcome to the Philippines!

Notice how the mattresses curve up against the wall.

The next day we took a dusty seven hour bus ride to the city of El Nido in northern Palawan.  Luckily we made a reservation on the phone the night before.  This is when I discovered that customer service doesn't exist in the Philippines, and if it does then it's extremely awkward.  When you walk in to a store, restaurant, or hotel you are rarely noticed until you grab some one's attention.  My favorite moment was when I had enough of it and decided to do a little experiment.  Now remember everyone in the Philippines can speak English.  So I went in to a store, grabbed two bottles of water, and put them on the counter in front of the cashier woman.  Then it was the battle of who would make the first move.  She sat in her chair behind the counter staring at me and I stared right back at her.  After about a minute of complete silence I couldn't take it anymore and victory was her's.  I finally asked, "Do you want money for this water?"  Basking in her glory, she knew she had broken me and kept staring.  "HOW MUCH FOR THE WATER?!" I snapped at her.  She finally muttered, "50 pesos."  This was an everyday occurrence in the Philippines.

Clint couldn't even win a staring contest in the Philippines.

Another example of bad customer service, or just awkward customer service, is when you got in to a restaurant.  First, find your own table.  Second, wave for a server to come over and they will walk over and stare at you.  Third, say the word "menu".  Fourth, the server will give you the menu and continue to stand and stare at you until you order.  Fifth, take five minutes to decide between a ham and cheese sandwich or a chicken sandwich to punish the server for their horrible service.  Sixth, wait 45 minutes for the kitchen to make a simple sandwich.  Lesson, get to the restaurant 45 minutes before you're hungry.

Can't tell if they're taking their time make a delicious sandwich or they forgot.

My final example is prying the information out of customer service people who have the information you need.  This brings me to arriving in El Nido.  When we got to our hotel we walked in around 4pm and said we had a reservation.  They said "not ready" and did that damn staring thing I keep talking about.  So we asked, "When will it be ready?"  They answer "sometime" and stare.  We ask, "Can you say how many minutes?"  They answer "one hour" and stare.  We ask, "Can you tell us the problem?"  They answer "working on it" and stare.  So we leave and thus is the way of the customer service in the Philippines.

Anyway, I'm putting a break on the bitching and it's time for the wonderful.  The thing to do in El Nido is to go on boat tours of the surrounding islands.  The islands are limestone karst cliffs that rise out of the ocean and are surrounded by hidden beaches and lagoons.  To get to one hidden beach we had to swim through a hole in the rocks at the right time so a wave doesn't smash us against the roof of the hole.  We also swam around in a lagoon filled with caves, corral, and perfect blue water.  It was simply magnificent and here are some pictures:

The view from El Nido and the boats that take you out to the islands.

Such great scenery.

Caroline enjoying the beach.

Snorkeling in a lagoon.

Can you find the hidden beach?  Yeah it's there.

Beautiful

The captain of our boat, a chain smoking sixteen year old.

The clear blue waters of the lagoon.

A good spot for a picnic on the beach.

After a few days of taking boat tours in El Nido, we traveled back down to central Palawan to see the subterranean river in Sabang.  It was voted as one of the new seven wonders of the world.  I don't know if it really deserves that entry, but I'll happily put in the category of pretty cool.  They put you in a tiny boat and a guide rows you 1.5 kilometers in to the belly of the river.  The river actually goes for 8km, but tourists are only allowed so far.  There are literally millions of bats that live in the cave.  Pointing the flashlight up revealed the most bats I have ever seen in my life.  I found out why the mosquito population is low in that area.  It was a worthwhile experience and here's a few pictures:

In Sabang!

Taking a pose in front of the subterranean river.

A helmet for protection.

Almost in the cave.

Oh and watch out for the giant lizards that guard the cave.

The post is getting along so I'm dividing it in to two parts.  In Part two you can expect whale sharks, bees, lady boys, and some more ranting.  In the meantime here is video of the 800 meter long zip-line we found when hiking in Sabang:

Dodging Falling Rocks in Taiwan

So I just got back from a much needed four week vacation.  The cold of Korea was settling in to my bones and the middle school students were making me want to break bones.  As soon as I could I was on a plane going south.  The first part of the trip was to Taiwan to see our very good friend Ms. Kerri Davidson.  Taiwan could also be called China 2.0.  It looks a lot like China except without the yellow air, black rivers, and blatant propaganda.  Hey, where's Mao Zedong?  Taiwan also has a nice dose of democracy, civil rights, and open press.  To loosely quote Kerri, "It's like China but without all the bad stuff."  It's no wonder the Chinese are only able to visit in tour groups.  They stay on the bus, get off to take as many pictures as possible of a landmark, and get back on the bus to go back to the hotel.  The Chinese Communist Party doesn't want its people to take notice that essentially the same people are thriving in a free country.  Who knows what they tell them on the tour?  I'm sure it's something like, "The Taiwanese hate voting and everyday pray to the Communist Party to save them."  Or, "Look at what China has done for Taiwan.  Yeah this is all China baby!"

"Sure, it's your country Taiwan."

It's all a little confusing to say where Taiwan's place is in the world.  They are controlled by the Republic of China.  Mainland China is controlled by the People's Republic of China.  So Taiwan is part of China but it's not.  Taiwan was populated by Chinese people escaping the Communist Party's takeover in the late 1940's.  So Taiwan's identity is Chinese, but they are separate from the other Chinese.  Chinese People + Island + Freedom - Mainland China + Political Tension - Delicious Chinese Food - Environmental Disaster + Friends With Benefits For The USA = Taiwan.

"Wait...what?"

Enough of that nonsense, let's talk about traveling.  The first thing you do when you get to Taiwan is rent a scooter.  The country has a hardcore scooter culture.  It's only about twelve dollars to rent a scooter for a day and it seems like the gas tank never loses any fuel.  I spent half my time in Taiwan sitting on a scooter seat and it was great!

Ms. Davidson acted as our tour guide for the duration of the trip and the best thing she took us to was Taroko Gorge.  It was one of the most dramatic and beautiful places I have ever seen.  It was unexpected because I had never heard of Taroko Gorge before a couple months ago.  I believe it is one of Asia's best kept secrets.  And I'm going to shamelessly blow the lid off it!  Taroko Gorge was formed as many gorges are formed; by erosion from rain water and a river over millions of years.  However, the mountains in the area are marble and marble is hard and resistant to erosion.  So this particular gorge is narrow with very steep sides.  The area is also prone to seismac activity and this has warped the marble in some of the cliffs.

The Explorer Look

 

The real attraction is the road that cuts through the gorge.  It is an engineering feat.  It is mostly hangs off of cliffs, cuts in to the cliffs, or tunnels through the mountains.  450 workers were killed in its construction and they are represented by the Eternal Springs Shrine at the start of the road.  It is on many people's lists as one of the most dangerous roads in the world.  I couldn't wait to drive up it.  There are warnings everywhere for falling rocks and with good reason.  Scattered on the road are freshly fallen small or medium sized rocks.  But the real danger is the tour buses.  I can't believe they are allowed on this road.  Some parts of the road are so narrow an SUV could barely make it through.  These tour bus drivers have no fear and miss rock ledges and scooters by centimeters.  However, with my expert scooter skills I was able to survive the twists, turns, sheer drop offs, falling rocks, and insane bus drivers to make it to the end of the gorge.  It was totally worth it.

The Eternal Springs Shrine

Besides Taroko Gorge there isn't really much else to go in to great detail about.  It was sad that with such a huge Chinese influence, food in Taiwan is very below average.  We ate at a Chinese restaurant on maybe our second day and it was horrible.  Kerri explained that Taiwanese are so hard working that cuisine is often overlooked and fast food is preferred.  They have places called "Lunch Boxes" that serve rice with some vegetables and a piece of meat thrown on top.  This is the meal of choice for them.  So we found ourselves eating a lot of western food.  However,  we did find a one Michelin star dumpling restaurant that was delectable.  Also, it was surprisingly expensive to go out to have some drinks, but that never stopped us.

Mmm, one Michelin star dumplings.

Overall, Taiwan was a great experience.  I'm glad I had a friend there or else I might have missed it.  When the Portuguese landed in Taiwan they named it Formosa, which is Portuguese for beautiful island.  After seeing the gorge, the forests, the beaches, and the people, I would say I agree with Portugal.  I think that's the first time I've ever said that.

Enjoy some random pictures from Taiwan:

Taipei 101 - Second Tallest Building in the World

This market is too crowded.

Kite Flying

Random Outdoor Choir

Inside a pagoda.  Trippy.

A windy day at the beach in Kenting, Taiwan.

Taken from an abandoned amusement park/active bar.

From the abandoned amusement park.

Watch out for killer centipedes, killer bees, and killer snakes in Taiwan.

At the top of a jungle.

 

Ying-Yang: American Perspectives on Living in China

My life abroad started in 2009 with Alice Renouf and the Colorado China Council.  Every year she recruits several Americans to live and work as ESL teachers in China.  With each new teacher there are new adventures, experiences, and challenges.  Besides recruitment, Alice also plays a role in introducing the teachers to this very strange and chaotic country.  She has seen and heard it all as she tries to ease the transition to what is basically an alien planet.  Most of this communication is done through letters and e-mail, and this sometimes can lead to some interesting reading.

In Ying-Yang, Alice has collected some of the most interesting letters and e-mails going back to 1991.  As most people know China has gone through some serious changes in the past 20 years.  So if you have any interest in ever living in China I would say this is a must read before you go.  Or if you just want to know what the experience is like for a foreigner living in China, then this is the perfect book.

I was lucky enough that Alice chose two of my e-mails to be published in the book!  So now I want everyone to refer to me as Mr. Author Ryan Noll.  Haha, no I'm just kidding.  But seriously.  Author from now on.

Some of my friends must also be referred to as author now too.  This includes Eric Fish, Jennifer Bulmash, Whitney Rush, Catt Stearns, and Clio Goldsmith.  We will sign your copy if you ask nicely.

But in all seriousness I think it is wonderful that Alice and Mary E. Ryan-Maher put in the effort to turn these letters and e-mails in to a book.  Nobody knows the China experience as well as Alice.  Now I can open up this book and transport myself back to the streets of Nanjing.

Look on Amazon for a copy.

The Three Phases of the Expat Experience

When I first arrived in South Korea they told me at the EPIK orientation that I would experience three phases during me time here.  These three phases are typical among young expats: Honeymoon, Negotiation, and Adjustment.  For the individual expat the degree and length at which they are experienced can differ, but most everybody goes through them at one point.

The Honeymoon Phase happens when one first arrives and the experience seems new, exciting, and romantic.  One can fall in love with the new foods, the cultural differences, the possibilities, and all there is to see.  This usually lasts for a few months.  For me I think it lasted about 9 months.  Way more than normal.  However, traveling is a great passion of mine, so I was extra excited.  When other people complained about their life in Korea I mostly brushed it off.  While I found some things ridiculous, I took it with a grain of salt.

Where Korea and I used to take baths.

The Negotiation Phase happens when the differences between the old and new culture become more apparent.  One can become annoyed with the differences.  Frustration, anxiety, and depression can set in.  I believe I started to slide in to this phase in the Summer, then I recognized it was happening after I came back to Korea from my Summer visit to the USA, and it really peaked after a number of shitty incidents in the beginning of this Fall.  I had been denied some things in Korea solely out of racism too many times in a span of a couple weeks and that's when I became what some people like to call "jaded".  I really didn't want to become jaded but it was just unavoidable.

Korea!  WTF!

Now finally, after being here for about 15 months, I'm starting to fall in to the Adjustment Phase.  The Adjustment Phase happens when one knows what to expect and the host country no longer seems new.  One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".  I might still be a little jaded and can understandably become frustrated, but now I mostly accept that some things are just going to be different.

Agree to disagree.  Now bump it.  Or shake.  Or awkward handshake.

To better illustrate how these phases work let me show you some examples and how my thoughts compared in each phase.

EXAMPLE #1
In Korea the students have to clean the school almost everyday after school.  There aren't really any janitors, so how clean the school is depends on the students.  The method for cleaning the bathroom consists of a hose, spraying the bathroom down with the water that comes out of the hose, and then letting the water drain on it's own.  No soap, no mops, no buckets.  Just hose.

Honeymoon Ryan: "Hey so the students clean the bathroom with a hose huh?  Just give it the ol' rinse down.  That seems sort of easy.  There's standing water on the floor and water dripping from the ceiling.  You kids are funny.  Oh well, gotta pee."

Negotiation Ryan:   "IDIOTS!!  How much piss, poo, and snot particles are in this standing water right now?  DUMB IDIOTS!!  My slippers are getting wet.  Even the #@$&ing handle is soaked.  SOAP!  If you're going to clean a room where bodily fluids are abundant you use soap!  You clean a birdhouse with a hose!  $&#*@ING SOAP!!  USE IT!!  Water has dripped on my shoulder and I hate this place."

Adjustment Ryan:  "Ok they're still doing the spray down technique.  Just going to pee and try not to touch anything.  Yes, it is very wet."

EXAMPLE #2
There is a tradition in Korea of being as silent as possible on public transportation.  I don't know why but on buses and trains you just don't really get above a whisper if you're speaking at all.  Naturally for us foreigners it is very awkward to be sitting in silence for a long period of time with your friends.  There is going to be talking.  There just is.  Sometimes this talking is too loud (this is often associated with alcohol) but usually it is at a respectable volume.  Most of the time it is politely tolerated but once in a while a Korean will straight up shush the pants off of you.  Being shushed can be an unsettling experience when you don't see it coming.

Honeymoon Ryan:  "Wow, ok... um I didn't think we were being loud at all.  But we'll turn it down I guess.  Sorry.  A little bit.  Not really, but it's your country and I respect that.  Anyways..."

Negotiation Ryan:  "Oh no you didn't grandpa!  I DO NOT appreciate that shush you just threw at me!  I did not deserve that shush and you sir are the most hated person in my world right now.  I hate you.  The more I think about it the more I think I hate you.  WHO SHUSHES?  I choose to rudely ignore your request.  In fact, if you shush again you will have declared war and I rain fire down upon you!"  Or something like this:

Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia#708 "The.Anti-Social Network from Justin Clark Dray on Vimeo.

Adjustment Ryan:  "Ah whatever, ya ya ya, fine ok.  Go back to being miserable now."

So the best thing to do is take the good with the bad.  While some things are still unacceptable, especially the racist stuff, I don't mind it as much anymore.  Korea is Korea.  And overall I still enjoy my time here.

A Whole Lot of Lanterns: Jinju Lantern Festival

In 1592 the Japanese were invading Korea, as the Japanese tended to do in that period of time.  One of the most epic battles occurred in Jinju, the site of the today's Jinju Lantern Festival.  There's a large fortress on the banks of the Nam river, the river that cuts through the middle of the city.  The Japanese were determined to take the fortress but the Koreans didn't approve of that idea.  The Koreans were outnumbered but had recently acquired a couple hundred arquebuses.  Oh, what's an arquebus?  It might sound like an oriental attack bird but it's actually a muzzle-loaded rifle that was known to pierce steel-plated armor at close range.  So with their new guns the Koreans were able to hold off the Japanese who were trying to scale the walls of the fortress.  I forgot to mention the Koreans also had cannons that shot giant arrows.

Attack our fortress?  Ok, we'll shoot this giant arrow at your face.

The defending Koreans also filled the river with lanterns to prevent the Japanese from wading across the river to the fortress.  All of these defenses proved effective and the Koreans were able to hold off the Japanese and saved their fortress.  However, the next year the Japanese came back, probably pissed off now, and successfully took the fortress after ten bloody days of battle.  The survivors sent lanterns down the river to remember the dead and as a symbol of hope for peace in Korea.  The tradition of sending lanterns down the river continues today.

The tradition has lost any humbleness that once existed and is now a spectacle.  I read that there were over 50,000 lanterns at this year's festival.  They came in all shapes and sizes.  From a small Spongebob to a giant fire breathing dragon that actually breathed real life fire.  We were not the only ones that wanted to view the array of lanterns.  We had to fight the largest crowds I've seen anywhere in Korea along with several power outages.  However, we actually had one brief peaceful moment when we made our own lantern with our respective wishes attached and sent it on its way down a lantern filled river.  

Enjoy some pictures:

Some large lanterns out there.

Pretty Bird

I think this is from some cartoon or something.

From some other cartoon.

Whatcha ya got there Santa?

Dragon!

Reenacting Japan vs. Korea.

Caroline's idea of a chair.

   

Some lanterns were not as classy as others: